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SharePre-boomers grew up in a world where parents, for the most part, stayed married no matter what. This was not always good for the kids, but many in less than satisfactory marriages thought it was a good enough reason to stay together. There were many other factors discouraging divorce such as religion, finances and public opinion to name a few. However, society has evolved to the point where divorce has become as big a part of adult life as marriage itself. Now the notion of late life divorce is in the spotlight.
The announcement that Al and Tipper Gore’s 40 year marriage is ending not only caught many people by surprise, it let us know that divorce is happening within all age groups. Watching that passionate kiss Al laid on Tipper at the Democratic presidential convention in 2000, while it lasted longer than most of us were comfortable with, seemed to say they where a couple in love and would be together for the rest of their lives. It was sad to learn their relationship was over, but in this day and age so many of the things we once believed to be true and fast are eroding and slipping away.
Those born between 1930 and 1945 were the first US generation to catch the divorce bug. Relaxed social beliefs, the women’s movement and the advent of the “pill” changed the relationships between the sexes while making it easier to have sex without the side effects of an unwanted pregnancy. We were free to experiment, and we did. However, we where still the marrying kind, and we did that as well. Boomers took this to the next level and were and more likely to live together without being married. The Gore’s are cutting-edge boomers, both born in 1948, and will be New Seniors in a couple of years; therefore, both older generations can identify with them.
Before the late ‘80s, divorce among older Americans was rare. But the divorce rate among those 65+ has more than doubled in recent years. It would be fitting to blame this phenomenon on Viagra, but that’s only a contributing factor. People live longer, and as time passes their needs and wants change. Years of living with the same person can take its toll on a relationship if the couple has not grown together and refreshed the association over time. Quite simply, living separate lives leads to growing apart.
Some of the reasons for New Seniors breaking up are: alcohol, drug, emotional and physical abuse (mostly women), meeting someone else (usually men), desire for freedom, identity and fulfillment (both men and women). Others simply seem to fall out of love, having lost interest in the other person and not willing to do much to rekindle the fire that once burned so passionately.
There are no guarantees in life, although we can try to take the necessary actions to keep our relationships alive and well by remembering why we chose our spouse in the first place. What we liked about them. How they made us laugh. The way they comforted us when we were sad. And, most important, the good times shared together. There’s still plenty of that good stuff ahead as long as we allow it to happen.
-NewSeniors Editorial
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